Bullying in sports from parents is one of the most ridiculous and shameful things I have ever had to watch. 

To see these so could adults turn into spoilt little brats simply because a game is not going their way or their darling little child is not getting the acknowledgment that they should.

Personally I think if a parent is harassing other parents, players or coaches then their kids should be dragged from the match instantly and not allowed to return until the parent learns to grow up. 

Is this punishing the child for the parent’s stupid behaviour? Absolutely!

When we punish the child and they miss out maybe the parent will finally look at themself and realize that they need to shut up and just let the game play out as it should. 

If a parent is too childish to control their emotions and their behaviour at a kids sporting game then I believe they should be banned from the game as well.

So many times I have seen the kids rewarded and kept on the ground when their parents are bullying and harassing others.  In society today we tend to regard highly the parent who harasses someone else and we allow their child to keep on playing and we punish those who quietly watch from the sidelines. 

Having been a netballer for many years when I was younger I know how nasty and vindictive some parents can be and it was always those parents whose kids got most of the games. 

Even now in dancing and in other sports I attend and watch it is the one who is the loudest that gets the most recognition. The only way to silence these type of destructive and pointless people is to give them no credibility and no acknowledgement. 

Parents in sports are teaching their kids everyday that bullying and harassment is okay.  It is saying to all kids that as  a child you mut obey the adult but as the adult you can do whatever you damn well please.  This is not the kind of message we should be sending out to our children.

Yes as parents we get passionate about our kids and watching them perform however that never excuses us from being complete and utter idiots who resort to name calling and bullying just so that we feel better about ourselves and so our kids get to stay on the field longer.

To all those parents who are the loud and childish ones at their kids sports matches or events, I say to you grow up and start right now to be a better example for your child so that they may live a more empowered life rather than one through fear, anger and hatred.

If you are ready to make a change for your sports team then email or call us now to find out more.

I am Melinda Walker and I look forward to heaaring from you soon.

Regards,

Melinda

Considering the number of businesses that we have in Australia that is a horrific number that needs to be changed and something must be done right now to stop this unresourceful behaviour from continuing.

The more we turn a blind eye to workplace bullying and walk away from it the more we are condoning it and allowing it to continue.  Whether you are being bullied or someone you know is being bullied you must make a stand now to make a difference because if you don’t the next person that is bullied could be you, someone you care about or even your very own child.

If you start now to tell people that bullying is not okay then you may just be the one person who makes the biggest difference for others.  You may be the one who becomes their voice and gives them the strength to stand up for themself and say “enough is enough.”

Bullying occurs because the person doing the bullying is weak and has no real social skills whatsoever  and it continues because people just like you turn a blind eye and pretend that it isn’t really happening.  After all when we know it is happening then we have to do something about it and it is much easier to ignore the problem than to tackle it head on.

Having worked in real estate for 20 odd years I have seen bullying at it’s very best and it is always the same people causing the same trouble to similiar people.  The bullies are very rarely stopped or reprimanded by management and leaders infact sometimes they are even acknowledged and rewarded for their disguisting and unresourceful behaviour.

When managment are the ones doing the bullying or the harassment how can the staff expect to learn a more resourceful way of behaving?  When management are allowed to do whatever they please to their staff and treat them like sexual objects or fools then of course the staff are going to follow suit.

The only way bullying will cease to exist in the workplace is when managment and leaders stand up for their staff, change their own behaviour and realize that their type of harassment, abuse and bullying is demeaning, degrading and is promoting bullying and unsafe practices in the workplace.

I ask you is this how you want your company to be remembered?

If not then email or call us now to find out how you can be one of the first to “Move Beyond The Bully Mentality” and find a better way of doing things.

I am Melinda Walker and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Regards,

Melinda

0417 825 254

Whether you define them as bullies or the mean girls is irrelevant the fact remains that they are one and the same and that they do the same amount of emotional damage.

For the purpose of writing I am going to refer to all the mean girls as bullies because essentially that is what they are. 

Girls who resort to bullying are doing so to build up their own self-esteem and their own self-worth.  These girls do not honestly like themself very much and are very insecure about who they are and who they need to be.  Often they may be thought of as the cool kids or the tough ones yet they are anything but and it is proven by who they target.

Bullies will target someone that they know has something they don’t.  They may be prettier, smarter, stronger or more confident in their own skin.  A bully is often threatened by this and will pick their victim when they feel that the person is at their most vulnerable and then they will strike.  A bullies sole job is to destroy what little confidence and self-belief their potential victim has.

If you think that bullying is not going on at your school then you are very sadly mistaken because it is happening and it is rife and it needs to be stopped. 

Kids that bully must know that it is not okay and that they more they bully the less happier they are likely to be later in life because all they know is how to drag other people down rather than build themself up.

Kids that bully need to be taught that there are more resourceful ways to behave.

Parents that bully must know that their kids are learning this behaviour from them.

Our kids may not pay attention to what we say however they do pay attention to what we do and how we act and react is exactly how they will behave too. 

If they see us mistreating someone then they will learn to do the same thing.  If they see us talking about someone behind their back then they will learn to do the same thing.  As a parent we must change our ways if we want our kids to behave differently and act in a more resourceful manner.

Teachers that bully must know that their students are learning from them and watching every move they make. 

It is ironic that I often hear kids say “I love the way adults tell as not to be mean or not to bully and then they go and do the exact same thing they tell us not to do.”  Teachers must realize that how they teach their kids will affect these kids for a very long time and they have the power right now to empower their kids or to destroy their confidence and make them feel undervalued and worthless.

Bullying at school happens in so many different arenas and we must make changes at the top so that our kids have resourceful and positive role models rather than negative ones.

My name is Melinda Walker and I believe it is time we moved past the bully mentality and find a better way for our kids.

Regards,

Melinda

At Applied Leadership we teach kids how to move beyond the bully mentality.  We teach them how to respect themselves and how to respect others as well.  We are not naïve and do not expect everyone to like everyone however there can and there must be respect there regardless of what we think of others.

Our training “Moving Beyond the Bully Mentality” is all about breaking the bully by taking away their power. When you know what strategies to use to break the bully’s power then that bully will no longer have control or power over you or anyone else.  The more we learn about the bully the less affect they will have on people in a range of different situations.

A bully often feels threatened in their own environment and by bullying others they feel they have more control and a higher level of respect by being a leader of a pack and a bully.

We don’t give the bully significance or feed their ego instead we teach others to become empowered regardless of who is standing in front of them.

At Applied Leadership we focus more on the positive behaviours and less on the negative behaviours.  We teach the kids to respect themselves and others equally. We train in empowering each other and working together to make a bigger difference.

“Moving Beyond the Bully Mentality” will cost you a lot less now than if you continue to do nothing and watch your girls’ implode.   We must start now to teach them more resourceful behaviours and ways of being so that they can live a more fulfilled and empowered life.

In working with us you and your girls will receive:

• 50 minute talk to all Year 9 girls on self-leadership and understanding the bully in one term.
• 2 50 minute interactive session with half the group at a time (each for 50 minutes and ideally only 2-3 days apart)-how to make resourceful changes.
• 50 minute talk to Year 9 girls on bullying and Moving Beyond the Bully Mentality and putting in resourceful strategies to make a real difference for these girls.
• 50 minute talk to all Year 9 girls on adapting new behaviours and a change in attitude in the next term.
• 2 50 minute interactive sessions with half the group at a time (each for 50 minutes and ideally only 2-3 days apart)-human drivers and the power of langauge.
• Parent information night for 40 minutes on anti-bullying practices and how to empower their kids instead.
• Teacher information session for 40 minutes on anti-bullying practices

* That’s a total of 10 talks; 8 for the students, 1 for the parents and 1 for the teachers.

If you are serious about making a real difference for these girls so that they don’t become victims of bullying or worse crimes then email or call us now to find out more.

Regards

Melinda Walker

0417 825 254

Bullying is not leadership it is weak and worthless.

When people learn to move past the bully mentality  and learn how to behave more resourcefully then and only then will they start to lead a higher quality life and be surrounded by more encouraging and genuine people.  It is sad that most bullies have no real genuine friends and they often live a very small life with nothing really great ever happening to them.  What is even sadder is that half the time they think that it is everyone else’s fault and not their own.

A bully and an unresourceful leader will spend all their time blaming other people and not enough time assessing what they are doing wrong and what they can change.  If they were to make one small change such as focusing on what they are doing rather than on other people they would automatically notice their life start to change.  If they spent more time focusing on improving their life and who they are rather than blaming other people for all their faults and insecurities then they may just find for the first time in a long time that they can achieve extraodinary success rather than be stuck in mediocrity forever.

I don’t get it, I really don’t.  I don’t know why you would want to spend more time making someone else feel bad just so that you can feel better. Seriously as a bully is your self-worth and your self-respect that low that the only way you can ever feel good is by insulting others? Are you really that weak that you have to tear other people down? Do you really have no friends or nothing good in your life that you have to focus on all the faults in other people?

If only these people looked at their own faults the world would be a much better place and we would have a lot less anger and a lot less violence.

I’m curious is this how you want your kids to grow up, or your kids to see you? Do you really want them to believe that the only way you can ever feel good is by making someone else feel bad-god I hope not!

Be the hero to your kids and to yourself and start now to do things differently.

Regards,

Melinda Walker

0417 825 254

You must take it upon yourself to make the changes to your life and let the world know that you are not going to take life as it comes and you are not going to put up with nasty comments and malicious behaviour instead you are going to be a leader and a girl of remarkable influence and power who has the strength and the conviction to stand up for herself and know that she deserves the very best that life has to offer.

Bullies bully because they have no social skills, have no real inner self esteem and have no respect for themselves. Bullies often bully because they are being bullied too. When you know this it helps you to be able to see the good even in the bullies and the mean girls.

Essentially a bully is someone who wants their own way all the time and they have no care and no consideration for the feelings of others.

A bully bullies because they have a win lose mentality. They know that when their victim loses they then win. Bullying others and being mean to others gives the bully significance and recognition from their peers and more importantly from themselves.

Being a true self leader is about learning to do things differently and taking a chance.  You must start to do new things so that you have a higher self-esteem and a greater belief in yourself. 

You must have a strong sense of your own qualities and your own capabilities in order to overcome people like bullies and people who will try and bring you down.

If you don’t have this inner strength this inner knowing of your own assets and the qualities you possess you may look good on the outside however ultimately you will fail.

When you remain true and strong to yourself and what you believe in then you will not be swayed or pressured into doing things that do not serve you or being bought into mean comments about yourself or other people.  

Regards,

Melinda

Anyone that is disrespecting you and putting you down and making you feel worse by being with them rather than better to me is an aspect of bullying.    The essence of having friends is that they make you feel better about yourself and not worse.

A man that recently lost his grandson said on the news, “to all those teenagers out there please choose your friends wisely” and I have to say I could not agree more.  A friend should never make you feel worse, they should support you emotionally no matter what and they should know that they are lucky to be hanging around you and have you as a friend rather than feel that you owe them just for being their friend.

Choosing your friends wisely is a very good lesson because not only will it stop you from being belittled and bullied by your friends it could also very well save you from being wrongly influenced and manipulated by the wrong person.  A friend will not bully you and a friend will not want you to feel worse than you already are.

Have the self-respect to trust yourself and to know that if someone is hurting you they do not deserve to spend time with you.

Bullying is degrading to the person it is being done to and the only outcome for the person doing the bullying is that they hopefully will get to feel better than their victim by the end of it.  A person who is genuinely your friend will never force you to do something you are not comfortable with doing and they will never want you to feel bad because of them.

When you choose your friends wisely even if you are bullied or picked on by someone else you will at least have great support from the people that matter to know that those bullies are so unimportant and irrelevant in your life because you are already surrounded by amazing people who love and appreciate you.

Anyone who is comfortable in their own skin and happy with themself never needs to bully someone else to make themself feel better.  Anyone who has to lower themself to be mean to others and to bully others has a strong dislike and self-loathing of themself that they can only feel better by making as many other people feel worse.

A bully or a mean girl will never ever have your best interests at heart whereas a friend will.  A bully will never care if they have hurt or upset you, whereas a friend will.  A bully will talk about you and laugh at you behind your back whereas a true friend will not.

So my message is choose your friends wisely because when that mean girl or that bully comes knocking you will have supportive people around you who know that what the negative people say about you is actually a direct reflection of them instead.

May you always be surrounded by wonderful people so that they bullies and the mean girls are just another insignificant person or people in yoru life.

Regards,

Melinda Walker

The relationship between a mother and her daughter can be an incredible.

There will be moments however where your relationship won’t be easy, regardless though there is no denying that daughters need their mother’s guidance and support to survive and get through life.  If  a girl is to be a better leader and lead a more fulfilled and successful life generally speaking she needs to be able to lean on someone such as her mother.

As mothers you have an important task to love and support your girls and lead them to the right way because without your leadership guidance and without your support your girls are less likely to have a role model that they can look up to and know right from wrong.

Mothers must teach their daughters how to respect themself, how to respect others and how to lead from a position of influence and love rather than from a position of manipulation and negative control. From getting over things like heartbreak,  to more complicated things such as how to handle bullies, mean girls and difficulties in life a mother will always have something to impart on her daughter.

Yes, there are a lot of things that you can teach your teenage daughter. I believe though that the most important thing that you can teach your daughter is how to make the right decision. When you girl knows how to make good decisions, then she is less likely to be swayed by others and follow people  who don’t have her best interests at heart.

Making the right choices is important for every teenager because the choices they make are going to be something that  can and will effect their lives forever.  Making the right choices can be the difference between living an empowered life and being too easily led astray by others.  Knowing how to make good decisions is all based on teaching your girls to trust their instincts more and undesrtand what will serve them and what will not.

Help your daughter realize that the most important thing is that she follows her heart and never lets others make the decision for her, after all it is your daughter who has to live with her decision and that choice, that decision will define who she is and how she lives her life.

Warm Regards,

Melinda Walker

The funny thing is 75% of the time these so called cool kids end up achieving nothing in life because they are too busy making other people’s lives miserable and are not spending enough time focusing on their own lives and what they want to achieve.

These kids are not cool infact they are really quite useless because they don’t know how to take responsibility for their own attitudes and their own behaviors and for some naive reason they believe the world owes them a living and that they are better than anyone else-or at least that is what they want us to think they believe.

I like the fact that if we take away their title and reduce them to nothing then they no longer have any power over other people and as a group and as a collective they then become insignificant.  These kids will never resourcefully lead a company, they will never resourcefully lead a group of people and they will probably never resourcefully amount to much or have a great life because they will waste all their time making other people miserable.

If you want your kids to amount to nothing then please by all means continue to allow them to be bullies however if you truly love and respect your kids as I am sure you do then help us now to break the bully mentality in your child before someone decides to take revenge on them and punish them for all the hurt they have caused others.

Teach your kids the power of consideration and love.  Teach them how to respect themselves and others.  Teach them to support others rather than drag them down and then and only then will your child be able to move past the bully mentality.

If you are not teaching your children the power of love and respect then how can they possibly know how to behave in that manner?  You must teach them how you want them to behave and you must start now so that they don’t go out and create unneccessary attention for themselves that could harm them later.  From my experience the bully girl has also nearly always been the big mouth when girls go out together and more often than not this results in trouble that could have certainly been avoided.

Teach your kids how to build someone what not tear them down.

Regards Melinda

I still hear the same old messages, “you are fat, you are ugly, you are stupid.”  Wow, for smart kids they really are quite lame and rather uninventive. Yet you have to at least give them A for effort. 

How do you break a ring when there will always be an unresouceful leader at the helm and enough followers to take up the lead? What do you take away from them or deprive them of so that if one person does leave the group they will never be the same again or even better do you just break up the whole group altogether  and  if so how?

It’s a a bit like the show The Following at the moment, where if one person steps away or gets killed there are plenty more to take their place.                                          

I believe bullying starts with the parents and most parents don’t like me after I say that however it is true.  Bullying is a learned behaviour and therefore it can be unlearned.  Parents who neglect their children, talk down to their children, disprect their children and disrespect each other and teaching their kids to bully. 

Our kids don’t take a lot of notice of what we say unless it is negative and let me tell you they take an enormous notice of what we do. If you are bitching about someone or being disrespectful about someone then your kids learn to do the same.

The best way to break up a group from what I have seen in the past is to destroy their credibility and make sure that everyone around them who has ever been their victim that they bully is weak and the number one fear a bully has is “the fear of being found out.”  They are terrified of being found out about what they go through on a regular basis and how much self-hatred they have for themself.  They are terrified that they will never be loved and will never be accepted and the funny thing is if they continue with the bullying behaviour they probably never will be.

As we know a bully moves in a pack because they are weak and they have no strength on their own.  I think at times we should feel sorrier for the bully, because we already know that they are weak and full of hate for themself.   Yet I have to say I rarely have sympathy or empathy for the bully, hey I’ve been there and I’ve been through a lot worse and not taking responsiblity for yourself and your own behaviour is pathetic.

Don’t just break the bully, break the bully pack and take away their incentive for becoming a leader because this is the only way the succession plan will fail.

Regards Melinda